Fire up the grill!

I’m writing this on tail end of Memorial Day Weekend, a big deal in the United States complete with the traditional backyard bar-b-que and all that. I’ve never had a true propane-fueled patio grill. I’m just a charcoal gal myself, mostly because it was less expensive, but boy is it more work! This summer, however, all the kids and grandkids are descending on our home from global ports for my husband’s 70^th birthday, so now’s the time—off to Walmart to get my first gas grill.

Admittedly, I’m not a whiz-kid at putting together things out the box, and this one especially since it had pictorial instructions only. (Should I be concerned that there are a few bolts left over??) Part way through, I noticed a small dent in one piece. Hmmm. No problem, cosmetic only. Keep working through it. After a little longer, I took the cast iron grill grate out of the package, and wondered what the little separate pieces of iron were for. No problem, since this is all a new skill set for me anyway, it’ll become clear soon enough.

Which it certainly did when I held up the grill grate only to notice a gaping hole, where the “little separate pieces of iron” had broken off, probably the same time as the dent I found earlier. Rats. Now the problem was no longer merely cosmetic; it was functional. No big deal, just replace the grill grate. Easy fix, right?

Phone call to customer service, (evidently in some foreign country, ‘nuf said), only to be told, very politely, that I should put the grill back in the box and return it, with the receipt, to the store for a free replacement. Never mind that the grill was almost completed (and time is never “free”). Never mind that I didn’t own a truck onto which I could just load it as is. And not only was the box completed broken down, I didn’t even know where the receipt was. All I was asking for was a replacement grill grate, not a whole new set up!

I’ll just insert here that part of my personal backstory is making do with things that are less than perfect. I’m a consummate Second-hand Rose. A large part of my wardrobe is from second-hand thrift stores, we live in an old house, and many of our past cars have had more miles on them than NASCAR could count. Even my dog is a recycled hound the local pound. So, fine, my new grill isn’t pristine as expected. I continued assembling my project.

By the time I got the final piece in place, I realized the right side of the top was dented also. But it still sealed without difficulty, so we’ll call it cosmetic also. And all the burners worked, no gas leaks. Cooking would be accomplished without blowing up the neighborhood.

Sigh…

As Bob said, “You paid full price for it. You should at least get a new grate.” (He’s so practical.)

Then I realized an interesting comparison: Jesus paid full price for me as well. More than that, whereas the defects of my grill were well hidden in the box when I forked over the plastic, Jesus was completely apprised of my defects—more than I’m even aware of—and he paid full price for me anyway! (Selah.)

But God shows and clearly proves His [own] love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us.
Romans 5:8

I don’t so much mind the dents and scratches on my new grill; like I said, it’s all just appearance. But the grate is a different story. I don’t want my food falling through to the flame. So not to be gainsaid by the official customer service rep, I spoke with the local store manager. I was very willing to take no for an answer, but he cut through any red tape, and I walked out of the store with a new grate.

Likewise, Jesus isn’t about appearances. When He comes into my life, I somehow think He intends to allow some of the dents and scratches to remain—in His capable and loving hands, personal imperfections produce invaluable assets like humility and dependence on Him. But when it comes to functional capacity, sometimes He needs to replace what is broken with what is brand new.

The challenge for me is to be able to tell the difference.

Case in point: I don’t like scrupulosity. It not only cuts down on my functional capacity, but it’s also just downright ugly—in more ways than one. I would like God to just replace it, for free. And for some dear folks, I suppose He chooses to do that. Then for others…

…well, we have to work at it. Hard. I do believe He wants us fully functional, but even more so I think He wants us fully dependent on Him, learning to trust Him more and more. Is it possible that working through the scrupulosity is His way to full function, causing a greater dependency, rest, and humility that would not have otherwise transpired in my walk with Him?

“…for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Content with weaknesses? With distresses and difficulties? Content to walk through this ROCD slog, one step at a time? Seriously?

Yes, content resting in the truth that God is with me every step of the way, through every emotion, in every decision to push back against the emotion as an acknowledgement of His character, even as an act of worship. There are reasons for this journey I’m probably not even aware of—

What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.
2 Corinthians 1:3,4

In the meantime, I’ll fire up my grill to feed my family and friends. And I’ll trust Jesus to use me, even amid my defects (and maybe even because of them), to use all of me in feeding others.

Bon appétit!

Want some excellent info on Scrupulosity/ROCD? Check out this website:

https://scrupulosity.com/help-for-scrupulosity/

Author: dawnlizjones

Tends toward TMI, so here's the short list: guitar and banjo (both of which have been much neglected as of late), bicycling (ibid), dogs, very black tea, and contemplating and commenting on deep philosophical thoughts about which I have had no academic or professional training. Oh, also reading, writing, but I shy away from arithmetic. View all posts by dawnlizjones