Like many people, I’m not intrinsically adept at confrontation. That’s a nice way of saying that I tend to avoid it like the Black Plague, whereas my dear husband of 30-plus years (emphasis on the “plus”) has no problem with it. I have always struggled being overly concerned with what people think of me. Bob…well, let’s just say, not so much. So, one can easily imagine how, once the honeymoon period wears off (five days???) and real life kicks in, communication patterns with regard to expectations can be…challenging.
During one of our relatively few “disagreements”, I was doing my typical backing down routine, when my counterpart surprisingly said, “Now wait a minute! Don’t you give up so easily! Just because I’m louder doesn’t mean I’m right.”
He’s so good for me.
Learning to argue is a definite skill set for any relationship. Setting boundaries, no name-calling, dealing with my own ego and emo, learning healthy compromise, being motivated by love rather than the innate desire to “be right”…the human psyche isn’t born with these things; they have to be intentional in any relationship.
Except one. Continue reading “Let’s have a fight!”