Like many people, I’m not intrinsically adept at confrontation. That’s a nice way of saying that I tend to avoid it like the Black Plague, whereas my dear husband of 30-plus years (emphasis on the “plus”) has no problem with it. I have always struggled being overly concerned with what people think of me. Bob…well, let’s just say, not so much. So, one can easily imagine how, once the honeymoon period wears off (five days???) and real life kicks in, communication patterns with regard to expectations can be…challenging.
During one of our relatively few “disagreements”, I was doing my typical backing down routine, when my counterpart surprisingly said, “Now wait a minute! Don’t you give up so easily! Just because I’m louder doesn’t mean I’m right.”
He’s so good for me.
Learning to argue is a definite skill set for any relationship. Setting boundaries, no name-calling, dealing with my own ego and emo, learning healthy compromise, being motivated by love rather than the innate desire to “be right”…the human psyche isn’t born with these things; they have to be intentional in any relationship.
“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.”
Bob and I recently watched Darkest Hour for the second time. It was even better than the first! Of course, I love history anyway, but it fascinates me to watch such a portrayal of the angst and near falter of one of the great pillars of freedom, Winston Churchill, at a time when Hitler was breathing down the neck of democracy. As resident of Number 22 Downing Street, so many of his colleagues (including his own reigning monarch) were pressing him to compromise with the fascist tyrant in the hopes of having some semblance of peace and prosperity left in Great Britain. Pearl Harbor had not yet happened, so the USA took a “not-my-rodeo” attitude to the whole predicament.
No spoilers here, but we know the outcome, thankfully. Eventually, even the king himself comes around and throws his support to his P.M.
I also have a spiritual tyrant, Satan, and he cannot be reasoned with. No sin in my life can be tolerated, or else I am putting my head in his mouth. There is to be no argument, no compromise, no discussion. I am expected to heartily use the authority that Jesus died and rose again to give me, not just for myself, but for others.
Another part of that good news is that the King is already on my side!
1 Peter 5:8,9 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.