I have to fix this.
If those words don’t actually cross through my brain, they certainly are present in some form somewhere in my psyche.
I figure part of that pseudo-neurosis may just be hard-wired from birth. Certainly being a nurse hasn’t helped it along. When people know you’re a nurse, whether in the hospital or out, whether at work or at home, you’re expected to diagnosis and treat. Everything. Appendix? Just give her a dull spoon, she can take care of it.
It can get a bit overwhelming, but honestly, it really is my own fault. When I allow others’ expectations to set my boundaries, even professionally, then boundaries will not exist, (and neither will my sanity, just sayin’). What also will crop up is bitterness, resentment, and oh-let’s-point-the-finger-at-so-and-so. And we all know how fun that can be.
Here’s one character I can severely relate to in the Bible, and I confess that her story is one I have wrestled with, (still do actually):
“But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, ‘Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.’”
Like it wasn’t enough when the renown and popular chef from my husband’s college came to dinner and I burned the BBQ chicken! Can you even imagine God coming to dinner? Hello?!?
In Martha’s defense, they didn’t have access to fast-breaking news back then, so she might not have heard that this is the Guy who turned water to wine and fed 5000+ on a few loaves and fishes. Logically speaking, her dinner could be a mere snap of His fingers, unless of course she was trying to “impress” Him, which is never a great idea when it comes to the God who created the Universe…
“But the Lord said to her, ‘My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.’”
Admittedly, I’m not a recipe person in my kitchen, but when it comes to event-planning, I like my ducks in a row, so to speak. I do lists, and check marks, and re-lists. Phone calls and confirmations. I get focused; when something comes up, I fix it. Or I least I try to. As they say, “the devil’s in the details”.
Of course, this attitude carries over:
- In relationships with family, whose decisions I cannot control
- In circumstances which I cannot control
- In world events which I cannot control (do I see a pattern here?)
Martha’s situation felt (and was) out of her control, when the Control, in person, was sitting right in her living room.
In other words, I have come to realize that the most important thing I can do for the relationships and circumstances over which I feel (and have) no control is to sit at the feet of Jesus. That is:
“But let him who glories glory in this: that he understands and knows Me, personally and practically, directly discerning and recognizing My character, that I am the Lord,…”
Time is bent in His hands, people’s hearts are changed, and above all and no matter what, His purposes will win out.
Even if sometimes dinner seems to get a little charred on the grill.
Luke 10:40-42 Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.