Decaf Coffee and the Christian

Personally, I’m a tea drinker, but here’s for all you coffee lovers out there-

Theological Jon

“So then because thou art decaf coffee, and neither iced coffee nor hot caffeinated coffee, I will spue thee out of my mouth.” – Percolation 3:16

If ever there was a “Coffee Bible” one of the greatest crimes against God would be decaf coffee. Why do I hate decaf so much? There are three reasons.

First, decaf coffee is advertising itself as something that it is not. It says it is coffee, yet has none of the effects of regular coffee. It looks like it is coffee, yet 45 minutes later you are still as drowsy as ever wishing for energy to flow into your body. Decaf coffee will even taste somewhat like coffee, but looks and taste can be deceiving.

Second, decaf coffee no more wakes me up than attending the opera. I could have ten cups of the fake black gold and still not be able to stay…

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Author: dawnlizjones

Tends toward TMI, so here's the short list: guitar and banjo (both of which have been much neglected as of late), bicycling (ibid), dogs, very black tea, and contemplating and commenting on deep philosophical thoughts about which I have had no academic or professional training. Oh, also reading, writing, but I shy away from arithmetic.

13 thoughts on “Decaf Coffee and the Christian”

      1. I’ll be sure to look around… next time I can steal a few moments. I’ve been a little behind here lately because of (a) summer and (b) teenagers. 🙂 Couldn’t help but share this one with some of my coffee-loving friends, though!

        Liked by 1 person

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